Pros and Cons of Open Adoption
Factors to Consider When Your Child’s Birthfamily Wants Contact
Dec 20, 2008
Growing in popularity throughout Canada and the U.S., research on open adoptions began in the 1980’s with the groundbreaking work of Kathleen Silber and Patricia Martinez Dorner. As adoption professionals further understand the dynamic, open adoptions are becoming the norm in the private process and many adoption agencies expect some level of openness.
Definition of Open Adoption
Openness in adoption is often viewed on a spectrum with closed adoptions at one end, open adoptions at the other, and semi-open adoptions along the middle of the spectrum. In his book The Spirit of Open Adoption [CWLA Press, 1997], James Gritter states there are four factors that need to be present for a true open adoption.
- The birthfamily selects the adoptive family
- The families meet each other face to face
- They exchange full identifying information
- They establish a significant ongoing relationship
The work of Silber and Dorner goes even further to suggest that an adoption is open when the birthfamily is also treated as part of the extended family.
Pros of Keeping Contact with the Child’s Birthfamily
Many adoptive parents are initially apprehensive about having an open adoption, but eventually see the benefits for their child. The main benefits are:
- Adoptees have access to health information about birthmom, birthdad, siblings and birth grandparents.
- Adopted kids generally have fewer adoption related issues as there is no “fantasy” family.
- There is less desire to search for birthfamily as an adult as early contact often answers most questions.
- It is possible to connect to the child’s heritage by sharing cultural activities, recipes, language and traditions.
- There is the possibility of connecting with birth siblings.
- It is easier to find out information about the child’s birth and relinquishment by asking the birthmother questions directly.
Perhaps the biggest benefit of having an open adoption is that it allows adoptees to experience their family of origin first-hand and by doing so, normalizes their adoption experience.
Challenges of Staying Connected to Birth Relatives
Open adoptions do not work for every adoption situation and the nature of the relationship between families may change over time. Here are some of the challenges of this unique family dynamic.
- It is important to clarify roles, titles and traditions, including gift giving, early in the open adoption relationship to minimize misunderstandings and hurt feelings.
- If promises are made to stay in touch, there is an expectation to stay connected or there will be disappointment by all parties. The relationship will likely change over time and it will be necessary to communicate openly when changes occur.
- Extended family and friends sometimes do not understand what open adoption is or how it works.
- Adoptive parents may need to work through issues such as fear of intrusion by birthparents and concerns over birthmother grief before feeling ready for an open adoption.
For situations where it is not possible to stay in touch with the birthparents, adoptive families may be able to connect with extended family or foster parents. These relationships will also need to be clearly defined and communication will be important in making these connections.
The pros and cons of an open adoption relationship will also depend on individual adoption situations. The main factor to remember in this adoption dynamic is that open adoptions are for the benefit of the children at the centre of the relationship.
References
Gritter, James L. The Spirit of Open Adoption. Washington, DC:CWLA Press, 1997.
Melina, Loi Ruskai and Sharon Kaplan Roszia. The Open Adoption Experience. New York:HarperPerennial, 1993.
 |
